


However Scary/I Fall In Love Just A Little

by mafia_V



Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, DON'T SHIP REAL PEOPLE, Getting Together, IN SPACE!, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Unrequited Love, in which team ZIT are gay pining idiots who suck at actually confessing their feelings to each other, these are hermitcraft characters not the real life people who make them, when in doubt title with Hozier lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28495632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mafia_V/pseuds/mafia_V
Summary: Zedaph, Impulse, and Tango work as research and investigative contractors for Heart Space Security Operations, the central peacekeeping force in the galaxy. Political tensions start rising between the three primary nations due to widespread and indiscriminate piracy and related violent crimes, and emotional tensions develop between three long-time best friends because of a new relationship and swallowed-down feelings. Will Team ZIT be able to find and eliminate the pirate threat ?And more importantly, will their friendship survive to see the hunt for answers through ?
Relationships: Impulse/Tango/Zedaph, Impulse/Zedaph, Tango/Impulse, Tango/Zedaph
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11





	However Scary/I Fall In Love Just A Little

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AbschaumNo1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbschaumNo1/gifts).



> Alrighty, AbschaumNo1, my friend, I was your secret gifter !
> 
> this idea grew and spiraled and now I _hope_ I'll be able to do this in three chapters but the reality of the finished product will likely end up different. we'll see lol. the first part alone takes up twelve pages in my gdocs and the rest of my notes spread another six.

Tango flops on the couch, leaning heavily against Impulse to steal a handful of popcorn from the bowl he holds in his lap, shoving the snack food into his mouth. Impulse scoffs and elbows him in the side, and Tango falls away with a grunt of pain around his mouthful.

Impulse turns to him with a frown. "Are you okay, Tango ? I'm sorry," he says, concern coloring his voice. Tango finishes chewing and waves his hands.

"I'm fine," he reassures.

Impulse shoots him a dubious look, but Tango reaches over to steal another handful of popcorn, and then they're in a petty slap fight and there's popcorn everywhere.

Zedaph catches them in the act when he comes out into the living room with hot chocolate. Impulse is straddling Tango with his hands poised to tickle, and Tango is frozen beneath him, the spilled popcorn bowl forgotten on the floor. Zedaph raises an unimpressed eyebrow at them, holding three mugs of the Old Earth drink.

"Uh, I can explain ?" Impulse says uncertainly. Tango is silent.

"I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed," Zedaph says in a solemn voice, his expression serious. Impulse slides off of Tango and they both sit up properly on the couch, watching Zedaph, unsure of where he's going with this. "....Disappointed that you didn't _wait_ for me, you sillies !" Zedaph breaks into a cheeky grin, and Tango and Impulse sigh in relief. Zedaph hands them each a mug before sitting down right next to Tango. Tango's heart beats faster at the slight brush of their shoulders.

The three of them take sips at their drinks. Mmmm, hot chocolate. Tango is _so_ glad that this delicacy survived humanity's move to a new galaxy, however long ago it was. Nothing like a warm drink on a cool night spent with friends.

Well.... no, yeah, friends. They'll never want to be anything more to him.

Tango lets Impulse and Zedaph's conversation wash over him without actually absorbing any of it, settling back against the couch cushions and enjoying the solid warmth of his best friends at his sides. Impulse reaches forward for the remote to flip through the movie catalogue, and chooses something bright and colorful. The two of them move closer to Tango, probably subconsciously, and he has to fight down a blush. It's just because they've been friends their whole lives. It's just that.

Tango tries to pay attention to the movie.

  
  


Wednesdays pass and therefore so do movie nights. Things are mostly the same while they spend their time in this star system.

Sometimes the three of them go on mining trips to Thulsiex 3, mostly for volcrine and crusium, the most common ores, but sometimes they stumble across a jechrite asteroid or even, on one rare occasion, a small ulcite deposit. For the rare zastrian and its even rarer gold counterpart, they would have to go _much_ further afield. Regardless, it's how they make most of their money, in between projects for Heart Systems Security Operations. 

The group's research and investigations are technically contract based; HeartSSO will ask them to look into something and lawyers will be brought in to make sure everything is fair and agreed upon. Oftentimes it's technological in nature, other times it's reconnaissance into the affairs of the three war-happy nations. Sometimes they even get to battle pirates and vagabonds. Their current long-term contract has them tracking down a notorious group of pirates who have caused a lot of problems for HeartSSO.

The only real change seems to be.... Impulse. Tango starts noticing some odd behavior in his friend. Impulse will sometimes stare off into space, or stare at him or Zedaph, and he'll duck his head if he's caught in the act. He always has a strange look on his face when he does this, and a flush on his cheeks makes his face red. He even avoids them sometimes, making nervous excuses and pretending nothing is wrong when Tango asks. Tango doesn't know what to make of it.

It doesn't click until Zedaph starts with some of the same behaviors. Or maybe Zedaph had been staring between him and Impulse for a while, and he was just more subtle about it until Tango noticed Impulse doing it. In any case, he starts to pick up on Zedaph's staring, and then everything makes sense.

Impulse and Zedaph have mutual crushes on each other, and they don't want to say anything around Tango, probably because they're afraid of making it weird.

That.... hurts more than he thought it would. That they like each other and not him. He swallows down the sour taste that sits in his mouth at the realization.

It's okay. Really, it is. Tango wants his best friends to be happy, and if that means he has to get them together, then so be it. All he has to do is get them to confess their feelings to each other. Maybe he'll go to Impulse, tell him how he's noticed him staring and blushing at Zedaph. Yeah, that'll work. And then they'll be boyfriends and.... and Tango will just have to shove down the tight feeling in his chest and get over it.

He'll be fine.

He'll talk to Impulse tomorrow.

  
  


Impulse tries to deny it.

"What ? No, I don't have a crush on— on Zed, no way. We're just friends, Tango." Impulse fidgets with the hem of his shirt. His face is bright red. Tango raises a doubtful eyebrow. They're seated on Impulse's bed. Tango figured the privacy would be appreciated, considering the topic of conversation, even if Zedaph is out at the Heart megastation for a couple days and therefore unable to eavesdrop.

Impulse doubles down, his voice climbing steadily higher toward a squeak. "Really, Tango, I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't stare ! I don't stare at him, I stare at _you_ just as often—" he blanches and scrambles to correct himself. "—I, I MEAN, I don't stare at either of you ! At all ! I don't know what you think you're seeing but that's not a thing !"

Impulse pulls in ragged breaths, face red, eyes tight, shoulders drawn up toward his ears. Tango feels a little bad for making him so upset. He was only trying to help, not make Impulse cry. He looks very close to it.

"I— I'm sorry, Impulse," he murmurs. "I didn't mean to upset you. I really think it would be worth it for you to tell him how you feel. I.... I just want you guys to be happy," Tango admits, staring down at his hands, clasped in his lap. He hears Impulse let out a sigh.

"I don't know, Tango. I just.... I don't want to lose him."

Tango shifts uncomfortably. He glances up to find that Impulse has leaned against the wall, hiding behind his hands. Tango sighs and lays his hand on Impulse's upper arm, wanting to comfort him, his chest aching. He suppresses a shiver at the minute movements of the muscles beneath Impulse's skin and tries not to feel up Impulse's bicep, shoving the notion down. _Not the time._

"Man, do you really think your feelings are gonna drive him away ? Come on, Impulse, the three of us are closer than that. Even if he doesn't feel the same way, he's not gonna let things get awkward ! He's one of your best friends !"

Impulse sighs again and lifts his face from where it rests in his hands. "You're right," he says with more conviction than he feels. His eyes give away his true hesitancy, but Tango pats him on the arm. Impulse smiles and continues, though shakily. "Even if he— he doesn't like me back that way, we're still friends."

"Exactly," Tango says firmly. The bitter taste of hypocrisy is acrid in his mouth. He leans against Impulse's side, throwing an arm around his waist and squeezing a little in a way that he hopes is reassuring. "You should tell him. At the very least, you can get it off your chest and quit being so damned _awkward_ around him all the time."

Impulse straightens and shoots him an embarrassed, indignant look. "I'm not awkward ! It's not awkward, everything is fine, it's not awkward !" His voice rises almost an octave, and Tango can only barely hold back his snicker. Impulse sputters and swats at him, and Tango rolls away from him, laughing. "It's not awkward ! It's fine ! I'm—" Impulse sighs, sagging until he flops sideways onto the bed. He drags his hands down his face. "Have I really been that bad ?" He asks, voice small and muffled.

Tango sits back up and watches him for a long moment. He takes in the scar across Impulse's knuckles, the dark hair on his forearms, the way his broad chest rises and falls. He trails his gaze over the slim sliver of skin peeking from where Impulse's shirt is rucked up, and then back up to trace the curl of hair behind his ear, just barely beginning to grow too long. Tango curls his hands into fists to resist the urge to reach out and touch. He takes a deep breath, letting out a shaky sigh. He can't let his feelings get in the way of Impulse's happiness. Of _either_ of their happiness.

"I wouldn't say _bad_ ," Tango says, thankful that his voice remains steady. "Just, kind of really obvious. He's been wondering if something is wrong, dude. He's worried about you."

Impulse groans. "I didn't want to worry him...."

"I know," Tango murmurs. "I think he'll be relieved that it's just some gay thoughts chasing you around."

"Maybe." Impulse sounds unsure, but he does snort, and Tango counts that as a victory. Impulse is silent for a long moment before he sighs once more. He lets his arms flop to his sides. "I'll tell him," he says quietly. "I won't lose him. It'll be okay...."

"It'll be okay," Tango echoes. His heart constricts in his chest when Impulse smiles up at him.

"Thank you, Tango," Impulse says warmly. His eyes crinkle at the corners, and he reaches up to nudge Tango's chest with the back of his hand. "....Could you be there ? When I tell him. As moral support ?"

Tango swallows down the lump in his throat. He'll be right there when Impulse confesses. He'll be right there when Zedaph inevitably welcomes his feelings with open arms. He'll be right there to watch his two best friends in the galaxy become a couple, and he'll have to smile and clap and wait til he's back in his own quarters to cry. But he doesn't want to let Impulse down. He's looking up at Tango so hopefully. He can't refuse. He can't refuse.

"Sure," Tango says with forced levity. "I'll be there for you, man. But I don't think it's gonna go nearly as poorly as you seem to think it will."

Impulse sighs. "I hope you're right, Tango. I hope you're right."

He's right, he knows he's right. This should be _fun_.

  
  


Impulse tugs nervously at the collar of his enviro suit, picking at the locking mechanism for a helmet that would be engaged if he were in full gear. Tango elbows him lightly to get his attention. His head snaps around, and he looks so _scared_. He's pale and his eyebrows are drawn together and there's a tension around his mouth that means he's resisting an outright frown. Tango shoots him a smile that he hopes is more encouraging and less shaky than he feels. Impulse watches him for a long moment, and for a second his eyes go wide, as if he's noticed something. Tango looks up into those honey brown irises, and he presses his lips together, swallowing around the lump in his throat. Impulse's eyes are so pretty. His arms twitch, wanting to rise and cup Impulse's sharp jaw. He clenches his fists.

The moment is broken when Impulse closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He holds it for a moment, and he looks so serene and beautiful that the words slide forward on Tango's tongue. It would be so easy, right now. It would be so easy.

He can't.

Impulse lets out a sigh, and his lashes flutter as he opens his eyes, setting them upon the door to the small office Zedaph is renting for the month on this station. He gulps before he reaches for the keypad on the wall. Zedaph had set access for their handprints as well as his own.

The door slides open with a soft _whoosh_ , and Impulse strides confidently inside. Tango follows behind him with a bit more reluctance. Zedaph is at the desk, sorting through diagrams and starmaps. He glances up when he notices them in the doorway, and his face lights up in his signature bright grin. Tango's heart does a flip in his chest. He hears Impulse's shaky exhale next to him, and he knows that Impulse had the same feeling when Zedaph looked at them like that.

"Hey you guys !" Zedaph shoves the stack of papers in his hands aside and comes around the desk. He quickly moves forward and envelops them both in an enthusiastic hug. "What brings you gentlemen to my humble office, hm ?" Tango finds himself pressed up against Zedaph and Impulse both, and he has to inhale slowly to calm his racing heart. If he leans into the embrace, will they really notice ?

....He hopes not.

Zedaph pulls away, leaving Tango feeling cold. Impulse speaks up first. "Um. Hey, Zed. We kind of— well, I, uh, I wanted to say— Um. I, I—"

Zedaph's smile is starting to melt into a concerned frown. Tango knows he wouldn't do much better if he was the one trying to confess, but he's annoyed anyway. He elbows Impulse in the hip, which is about as high as he can reach. "Impulse is a bit of an idiot," he begins, and Zedaph chuckles. He grins, the positive reaction sending butterflies through his stomach. He blinks and squashes it down. "He's got something to say that he's been sitting on for a while. Impulse ?" Tango turns to address him, gesturing for him to continue, and Impulse chews on his lower lip before he takes another deep breath.

"Zed," Impulse starts, his voice shaking. Here it is. Tango steps back. Zedaph's full attention is on Impulse, now. "I, um. I've been trying to figure out how to say this for.... kind of a long time. Uh. I— I really like you," his voice is but a whisper. Zedaph frowns, confused. He opens his mouth to speak, but Impulse rushes to answer the question he hasn't yet had a chance to ask. "I mean, I like you, as a friend, but I also, uh, I also really want to kiss you," he blurts out, and Zedaph blinks in surprise.

If Impulse was pale before, now he's white as a sheet. "I mean, I, I don't—"

Zedaph cups Impulse's face with both hands, like Tango wanted to do last cycle. There's a tight, uncomfortable feeling in his chest as he watches Zedaph pull Impulse close, watches him lean in, watches him smile as his eyes fall closed and he closes that last distance. Impulse melts into Zedaph's hold. Zedaph makes a small noise and tilts his head to deepen the kiss. Impulse slides his hands up Zedaph's back and Tango can't take it anymore.

He slinks out of the office and crosses the station in a daze. He has half a mind to go into the docking bay and warp to somewhere far away so he can soothe his aching heart in peace. He knows that would just worry them, and part of him wants that, wants them to worry, wants them to come after him and hold him and take care of him. But that's selfish. He doesn't like selfish people, and he doesn't want to be one. He wants them to be _happy_. All he wants is for them to be happy. And if he has to pretend he doesn't love them for that to happen ?

Well, it's not like he's actually ever going to say anything anyway.

Tango trudges back to their shared apartment, near the top floor of tower E, and decides he'll go traditional. Ice cream retrieved from the fridge, spoon in hand, and dumb kids movies queued up on the holoprojector, he locks his bedroom door behind him and settles in for a long night.

  
  


Life goes on, and Tango tries his best to make sure that his mixed feelings don’t affect his interactions with his two best friends. They go on a few short missions, making contact with informants and hauling small cargo. They keep returning to Shique-Val. On occasion Tango and Impulse team up for rescue missions against drones, Zedaph running things from the Heart and preparing for the incoming rescuees.

Zedaph prefers mining and intelligence gathering to combat by far. Impulse could go either way, but Tango usually ends up dragging him into violence, and they both have fun while doing so. Impulse will scold him after, sure, but he’ll have a smile on his face and he’ll be struggling not to laugh at Tango’s triumphant grin.

Their lease on Shique-Val runs out and the three of them decide to head toward the other side of Heart space. Kopui Pazog has a residential station in an asteroid field, and they decide to rent a place there for a couple months. Neighbored by a Kesnyean military station, the residential station is well protected from drones. It’s got four towers and a beautiful terradome with huge old trees and plenty of space for indoor outdoor recreation. Zedaph makes friends with some of the station’s livestock almost immediately. Impulse laughs when Zedaph comes home with grass in his hair after napping with the sheep. Tango swallows down the confession that wants to bubble out at the bright sound, at Zedaph’s answering grin.

He loves them so much. Contrary to his efforts the feeling just seems to grow more and more every day, every laugh, every look he shares with them. It's almost worse, now that the two of them are an item. Tango doesn't know which of them he's more jealous of, when he sees them holding hands or laughing together or kissing. It feels like they're taunting him, even if he knows that's not true. They're not the kind of guys who do that, even if they somehow knew about his feelings for them both.

  
  


Some digging and some information from a captured newbie lead them toward the outer reaches of space. They scout for a residential station that's still in secure space but not too many warps from where they'll be doing most of their work. Tango bites his tongue when Impulse and Zedaph like an apartment that has just two bedrooms. It's fine. He's fine.

(The tight ache constricting his ribs begs to differ. He ignores it as hard as he can.)

Even when they're working, Impulse and Zedaph are standing close together, leaning on each other, sometimes even sitting so close that one of them is in the other's lap. Tango just tries to take his own paperwork elsewhere. He starts doing more and more of his portion of their investigation either in his own bedroom or in an isolated corner of the pilots' lounge or the library.

He skips a movie night for the first time since he can remember, in favor of curling up with a stack of books and a pile of maps and information. Impulse and Zedaph are so absorbed in each other that Tango doesn't think they even notice his absence. He focuses on the work, circling locations that have been hit by the group in one color and the broad area the young man Heart captured told them the headquarters was in with another. Another station was raised not a week ago, and Tango thinks he might see a pattern to the thievery and destruction.

They know for sure that the Greideh faction I'd based _somewhere_ in the Anemos sector of wild space. The station that got hit earlier this past week was at Hedok 3, an industrial station on the edge of unsecure space just outside the Linsili border, whose sole two warp points were Scobna, another unsecure system, and Qopeg, the beginning of the wilds. If he traces the points that the pirates had hit first, early on in their infamy, he might be able to narrow down the search and give Heart more specific areas to look in.

He picks up another pen and gets to work.


End file.
